“You’re worried about how I might behave tomorrow? How I might distance myself from you? I’m trying to focus on taking one breath after the next so I don’t roll up in a ball and die from your rejection. Trying my hardest just to deal with you standing here, so close I can touch you.” She took a shuddery breath. “So close it…it hurts not to touch you.”

She grabbed two handfuls of her lustrous curls and tugged on them, her white knuckles making her frustration that much more obvious. “It’s ripping my heart out. You’re ripping my heart out. Playing hell with my sense of self-preservation and self-worth. All I wanna do is throw myself into your arms and kiss you for the next year. Rip off your shirt and your pants, and fuck you like there’s no tomorrow, and all you wanna do is…is have a heart-to-heart. Work out the finer details of how we can still be friends.”

She grabbed the last remaining bag and marched out of the kitchen, yelling over her shoulder. “Don’t you get it?” Her voice grew even louder—and wobblier—as though she fought back either tears or fury. “I need you to get out of my place so I can breathe again, so I can find my balance. I don’t need you worrying about how I might act tomorrow.”

And with that she disappeared down the passage and into her bathroom.

He should go, should respect her wishes and leave her in peace. But Seb was too damned selfish to do that. Too damned concerned he’d lose her forever if he did, so he went after her, yelling, just like she had.

“No. It’s not okay. I know you too well. If I leave now, if I leave you to nurse your wounds alone, I’ll never hear from you again. You’ll just add my name to the list with Brian’s and Keith’s, and I’ll be another guy you don’t talk to. Another loose end you tie up by ignoring me.”

She’d cut Leo off too. But that hadn’t been too big of an issue between Seb and Lucy, since Leo had upped and moved to Melbourne a few weeks later.

He marched into the bathroom after her, found her slamming toiletries into the cabinet over the basin. Dove soap, Colgate toothpaste, Herbal Essences shampoo and conditioner. “I’m right, aren’t I? That’s how you intend on getting through this. By pretending I don’t exist.”

She didn’t turn around, didn’t modulate her tone. She just kept yelling. “I’ll deal with it however I need to. And right now that means you leaving me the hell alone.”

Seb was having none of it. He wasn’t going anywhere, and he wasn’t leaving her the hell alone. Instead he got in her face. Grabbed her by the shoulders and squeezed between her and the vanity, holding her still and forcing her to look at him.

She struggled to free herself, so he just held her tighter, pulling her closer, immobilizing her against his body.

“I won’t do that. And I won’t let you ignore me. I won’t let you pretend I don’t exist. I’m not one of them. Not an ex you can cut out and never think about again. No matter how unnecessarily embarrassed you might be now, you’re my friend, my mate, and I refuse to let your feelings for me come between us. Refuse to let you go because this is all making you feel a little awkward. We’re better than that. We’re stronger than that. Whatever’s going on, we can get through it together.”

“Get through it?” Rage blazed in her eyes. As did shame. “Get through it? Jesus, Seb. I masturbated in that very bath.” She jerked her head to the side, indicating the tub. “Fucked myself and fantasized it was you fucking me, and you want us to get through it? I don’t think so. I think I’m way past that point.”

Seb couldn’t help himself. He looked at the tub. And just like that, he was hard again. Painfully hard.

As fast as his head filled with images of a naked Lucy, lying in her bath, immersed in water with her hand buried between her legs, so blood filled his cock.