Did I happen to mention DH has taken the boys camping? Both of them? Which means I have had this weekend all to myself. Yep – just me, no one else.
{{{happy dancing}}}
No interruptions, no bath times, no meals, no squabbling. Just me. What an opportunity. Two full days to sit down and write, to get ahead with word count.
{{{happy dancing}}}
Bet you guessed, didn’t you? I cannot put a sentence together. Not one frigging, grammatically correct sentence. Steve and Pen are just not interested. They’ve both told me, in their own careful and diplomatic ways, that the stuff I’ve written these last few days has been, well, tactfully speaking, utter crap.
They’re right. It’s awful. I’m sorry. I know I was supposed to just write, and just finish the damn book, but honestly, what’s the point of completing a bad book? It just requires total rewriting later. At least if I go back now and fix it up this manuscript stands a chance. If I don’t, I doubt Pen and Steve are ever gonna get their (relatively) happy ending.
So, as you can see that pesky internal editor has reared it’s ugly head. But you know what? It’s okay with me. Truth is, I’m not a speed writer. I can’t do this stuff. I need to go back and obsessively edit. If I don’t, then my characters can’t go forward. They’ll still be stuck in chapter 11 while I’m sweating over Chapter 16 and not finding any solutions. Yes, I may have failed dismally at Nano, but hopefully I will not have disappointed Pen and Steve.
Right, gotta go. Steve’s nattering in my head about the obvious mistakes in Chapter 11. Damn, and all this time I thought he wasn’t alpha. But the way he’s bossing me around, hell, maybe he is…just a little.
Jess
A weekend to yourself? Sounds like heaven Jess, even if the writing isn’t going as smoothly as you’d like. My hubby’s gone away for the week for work, leaving me single parenting the littl’n. The upside I’m not going to cook for a whole week – microwave meals it is!
Uh huh! Performance anxiety, know it well. Because my writing time is so restricted I have to ‘write on demand,’ and when it doesn’t flow its awful.
At least you’ve got some me-time, maybe toss in the writing and just spoil yourself.
Cait!